


That Torturous Thing Known As Time Travel

by pupeez4eva



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bat Family, Crossover, Gen, Humor, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4922863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pupeez4eva/pseuds/pupeez4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"One minute Dick was enjoying a nice, calming bath, and the next thing he knew he was standing butt-naked in front of his former team, who were looking varying degrees of shocked, horrified and…disturbingly pleased." - The Bat Family get hit by a spell that send them careening backwards and forwards in time, to the most random locations, at the most inconvenient moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

It begins on a night like every other — except not exactly, because most nights were spent in Bludhaven nowadays, and fighting as a family unit didn't happen…often. But it was happening tonight, and for that Dick was very grateful.

…Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.

A small part of him (a _very_ small part, he silently insisted) wanted nothing more than to reach out, grab all three of his brothers by the scruffs of their necks, and bash their heads together until they could barely speak, let alone argue (like they'd been doing from the moment they'd all teamed up). Of course he wouldn't do that, because he loved them to death, and giving your baby brothers brain damage was not something a kind, devoted big brother would do.

(But could you blame him for really wanting to sometimes?!).

Dick had to admit though, his patience was starting to thin. They'd been running around in circles all night, trying to catch the sorceress who had been terrorising Gotham for over a week now, and were getting nowhere. To make things worse, Bruce was out of town, and had asked Dick to take over for a few days until he got back (thankfully he did _not_ have to slip back into the Bat suit — he liked his Nightwing costume just fine, thank you very much). However, it meant that he was stuck _here_ , running around in circles and dealing with his…lovely…younger brothers.

Thank god Cass was here. It was nice to have at least one sane family member on his side, even if she mainly observed the situation silently, and occasionally quirked her lips in a way that made Dick wonder if she really _was_ on his side.

Dick was dragged from his thoughts by the sound of a loud bang. He shot a panicked look towards the group, his shoulders relaxing ever-so-slightly when he realised that there were no corpses. No, Jason had only fired above Tim's head, at the wall — that was a step up for him, he supposed. Still though, Dick didn't know how long it would take before a bullet was lodged in someone's head.

Dick sighed. As annoying, and as life-threatening as this argument was, it _was_ kind of nice to see his brothers working together. Even if the only reason Jason was with them tonight was because he'd bumped into them when the witch had been tormenting them with her annoying, and not impressive at all magic, had found her equally annoying, and had thus declared her his next victim.

…And if 'working together' translated into 'trying to kill each other.'

When Dick realised that Jason looked ready to lift the gun yet again, and Damian had that all too familiar glint in his eyes that Dick liked to call his 'Lil-D-Death-Stare' (he'd had that look _a lot_ when he'd first arrived at the manor), he decided that it was time to intervene. And so, it became time to fulfil one of the key roles of Nightwing - being the one person who could stop his fucked-up family (who he loved very, very much) from slaughtering one another.

(Well, other than Alfred that was…but Alfred didn't run around on rooftops dressed as giant birds and/or bats, so for the sake of this argument, he didn't count).

"Robin! Red Robin! Red Hood!" Dick hurried forward. "Knock it off!"

Jason glared. "Fuck off."

"Come on guys, we're supposed to be working together! Can't you just forget how much you hate each other for _one night_ and just…work as a team?!"

"They won't do it," Cass pointed out.

Dick shot her a look of betrayal. Yes, he was truly alone in this family.

"He started it." Tim shot Jason a vicious glare. "And then he made it worse." That glare was then transferred over to Damian.

Damian snorted. "Of course we did. You're far too useless to start an argument, or to allow one to escalate."

 _"Robin!"_ Oh yes - disapproving big brother mode was on. He was totally going to stand here on some random rooftop, at whatever god-awful hour it was, and give his brothers a long-winded, "we're family and that means we _have_ to like each other!" speech.

…And then Jason interrupted.

"Hey, the sorceress slut is over there!"

Dick turned (feeling more than a little disgruntled), and sure enough, the 'sorceress slut' was standing behind them, looking at them in amusement.

"Didn't mean to interrupt your little conversation," she said, smirking. "Seems like you guys were really getting into it."

Jason lifted his gun.

"No guns!" Dick said.

"Fuck you!" Jason retorted.

"I don't have time for this," the sorceress said, strolling forward. Dick narrowed his eyes, and crouched slightly, preparing himself to attack. The sorceress paused, and she let out an amused laugh. "I really don't want to fight any of you. I have things I need to do and you — well your getting in the way."

She cocked her head to the side and said, "but maybe this will keep you out of my way while I finish my work."

And then they were all green.

…Well not green exactly, but there was a bright green light, and by the time it had faded the sorceress was gone, and it was just them, the dysfunctional Bat-Family, standing alone on the rooftop.

Oh God, Dick could just _feel_ another argument coming.

"Where is she?!" Damian's head whipped around frantically. "Where did she go?!"

"What was that?" Cass murmured.

"I didn't even see it coming," Tim said, shaking his head, as if to clear it. "Did _any_ of you guys see that coming?"

Damian snorted. "Useless."

Tim's eyes narrowed. "I repeat - did _any_ of the rest of you guys — and that includes _you,_ Robin — see that coming?"

"No, I don't think so," Dick said quickly, hoping to avert yet another argument (seriously, maybe family therapy was on the table…). "I don't even think she moved — one minute she was just standing there, and the next moment, we're surrounded by that green light."

His brow furrowed as he tried to remember what the sorceress had said. She'd wanted to…get rid of them? Well clearly that hadn't worked.

"Why the fuck are we still standing here?" Jason said, fists clenching. "Let's find that bitch, and finish what we started."

Dick shrugged and nodded, because — why not? Nothing _felt_ wrong…

…Then again, how did he know? He didn't even know what that green light was. What if it was some weird curse that would cause their insides to slowly rot, or cause their bones to decay, or…or….

Well, there was a lot that could go wrong, and he didn't want to risk it. Not with his family's lives on the line.

"We'll take a quick look around for her," he told them, "and then we'll head back and make sure nothing's wrong. We have no idea what that spell was, and I don't want to risk anything going on."

Cass and Tim nodded, Damian snorted, and Jason…was gone.

"Uh…Hood?" He looked around - nothing. What the hell? "Red Hood?!"

How the hell had Jason had time to sneak off?

"Did anyone see him leave?" he demanded. They all stared at him blankly.

"I didn't even notice he was gone," Tim said. "I mean…either he's become _really_ good at being stealthy, or — "

And then he was gone too.

Dick's eyes widened and he jerked forward. "Tim!" he yelled, rushing forward (although he didn't know why he was rushing forward, because there was nothing there).

"Wha — where'd he go?!" He looked around desperately. A moment later he realised that he'd just used his brother's name, which was a huge no-no when in the field. Then he decided that he really didn't care, because Tim and Jason were gone.

Oh fuck, why had he wanted them to stop arguing? Arguing was way better than this!

"Okay — okay," he said, struggling to calm himself. "We have to look for them — maybe they've been transported somewhere — "

He looked up and nearly screamed.

Cass and Damian were gone.

"Oh for crying out — _WHAT?!_ Come on! Guys!" Dick let out a frustrated moan, and ran his fingers through his hair. Right — alright. He had to find his siblings…

…and that was the last thought he had before the world around him descended into darkness.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, since I'm a huge sucker for time travel fanfiction, and an even bigger sucker for the Bat Family travelling back in time — and since I seemed to have read all the time travel tics Batman/Young Justice/Justice League/ect. fandoms at the moment — I decided to write my own.
> 
> Basically, that spell is going to have the Bat Family thrown back in time, then sent back to their own time, then sent back again...I thought it'd be fun to have them sent back at the most random moments, when none of them really expect it. It could lead to some hilarious moments xD
> 
> I'm setting this in the Young Justice verse, because I'm not too experienced with the comics, and don't want to make a huge mess of this thing. Of course, I probably will anyway so…if there are any HUGE mistakes I make with the timelines or details of this thing, please point them out to me. I've been reading fanfics from these fandoms for quite some time now, but I've only just started writing fanfics for them now, so I don't want to mess anything up!
> 
> Tell me what you think (and also, if anyone knows any really good time travel and/or dimension travel fanfics for this fandom (especially involving the Bat Family) please, please, recommend? Because I am seriously a MASSIVE sucker for time travel stories.


	2. Chapter Two

When the darkness cleared, Dick realised that he was once again surrounded by his siblings.

…And they were arguing.

Again.

(Why, _oh why_ , did it never stop?).

"For the last time — " Tim was snarling, "I did not do _anything — "_

Damian snorted. "I don't believe that. You're always to blame."

"I knew I shouldn't have stuck around with you fuckers," Jason snarled. "Shit always hits the fan when you bats are around."

"You're a bat too," Cass pointed out.

"Fuck off." Jason's eyes narrowed. "I'm my own man, unlike you motherfuckers."

"Street trash". _'Oh Dami,'_ Dick thought, _'why must you antagonise him?'_

(Because it's Damian, the rational part of Dick's mind reasoned; the not-so-rational, why-can't-the-world-be-perfect part, imagined a smiling little cherub with blue eyes, who showered his older siblings with hugs, and lovingly called him 'Big D').

He snapped out of it a moment later, because now _really_ wasn't the time for daydreaming. Jason's hand was inching towards his ever-present gun, and the last thing Dick needed to deal with was a bullet in any part of his baby brother, or the destruction of —

— the manor?

Dick blinked, looking around. Familiar looking kitchen, large, open doorway, leading to the hallway…this was the manor alright.

"Um, guys…" he murmured, his eyes wide. He tried to control his panic; how the hell had they ended up here? The last thing he remembered was that strange green light…some sort of teleporting spell, perhaps? Except they'd ended up in the manor, which could have been a random pick, or — on a more worrying note — the sorceress had intended to send them here, which meant she knew who they were, which was _bad._

"Guys!" he yelled, when it looked like no one was willing to give him the attention he needed at the moment. "I think we're in the manor," he continued, when his siblings _finally_ paused their argument, and looked in his direction.

Tim's brow furrowed. "How did we get there?"

And, well, Dick knew he shouldn't have done it (he was supposed to be the nice, happy one after all), but he couldn't resist a snarky, "well guys, we'd know if you paid attention to your surroundings, and _stopped arguing."_

They stared at him.

"…Are you angry?" There was a note of concern in Tim's voice. Immediately Dick's anger faded, and was replaced by that _'oh-my-god-how-could-you-snap-at-your-adorable-baby-siblings?!'_ feeling.

"No," he told Tim, smiling.

"How did we get to the manor?" Damian demanded.

Dick shrugged. "I don't know, Robin." Sure, they were in the manor, but until they figured out how they'd gotten there, Dick was going to steer clear from using first names.

"I don't like this," Jason muttered, his eyes narrowing.

Cass nodded her head. "Something's not right."

"No, I mean I don't like being in the fucking manor. Gives me the creeps." Jason's jaw twitched. "Fucking Batman."

Damian lurched forward. _"Do not_ insult — "

_"SHUT UP!"_

…And they were back to staring at him.

(He hadn't meant to scream at them; he'd been trying his best, really).

"…My beloved baby brothers, and sister." There; surely that overcompensated for the kicked-puppy expression on Tim's face, and the look of hurt in Damian's eyes.

Apparently it did, because a moment later, Jason and Damian went back to glaring at each other.

Dick sighed, and removed his gaze from his siblings, choosing to scan the room instead. His eyes narrowed slightly; yes, they were in the manor, but upon closer inspection, there were things that just seemed _wrong._ For one thing, the kitchen table looked a lot smaller than it had this morning, and the table cloth was different. The clock above the stove, which Cass had brought with her from Hong Kong, was gone. And overall, the whole room just seemed a little less…worn out.

Dick moved his head slightly, angling it towards the open-doorway. His eyes scanned the hallway, and they widened in surprise; apparently the kitchen wasn't the only thing that had undergone a slight change.

"Uh, guys?" Dick interrupted. "What happened to the family photos?"

His siblings followed his gaze to the wall opposite them. The space, which had once been covered by various family photos — Damian playing outside with Titus; Dick, aged thirteen, holding a mathletes trophy; Jason, shortly after he'd first come to the manor, looking lively, and happy, and completely oblivious to his eventual fate…all of them were gone. The photo of Dick was still there, along with a few others of him. Dick recognised the large one in the middle - it had been taken during his first Christmas at the manor. Despite the confusion of the current situation, Dick felt his lips twitch at excitement on his nine-year-old face, and the sight of Bruce's warm expression.

But the fact remained that all photos of his siblings seemed to have mysteriously vanished. The wall looked miserably bare without them.

"What the fuck?!" Jason spluttered. He let out an incredulous laugh. "Oh my fucking god, the old man isn't even trying to hide his favouritism anymore."

Damian glared. "Don't be an idiot, Todd. _I_ am father's biological son."

"Then why aren't you in any of those photos?" Tim shot back.

Damian's eyes narrowed. "Clearly there has been some kind of mistake." Despite his attempts to appear calm and collected, Dick could hear hints of panic in his voice. "Father must have intended to remove all photographic proof of you imbeciles, and then — "

"Dami, shh," Dick murmured, cutting him off (forget avoiding first names; if anyone was listening, the most recent argument had probably told them all they needed to know). "Guys, Bruce isn't even in the country at the moment - how could he take down all your photos?"

Jason raised one eyebrow. "He's Batman."

"And he decided to use his mystical Batman powers to redecorate?" Tim asked dryly.

Jason's hand inched towards his gun.

Cass frowned. "No guns."  

Dick beamed at her (at least there was _someone_ else willing to keep the peace in this family).

"All jokes aside, there _is_ something different about this place." Tim glanced around. "There are things that are — Demon Brat, are you seriously eating _cookies_ right now?!"

Everyone turned to Damian. The younger boy scowled in response.

"I'm hungry," he snapped. "And these cookies were just sitting there. I don't see why not."

Tim glared, and reached out, as if to slap the cookie away. "Put that down you idiot! There's something wrong with this whole situation, and the _last_ thing we need is for you to get yourself poisoned!"

Damian's scowl deepened. "Fool," he growled. "These are _clearly_ Pennyworth's cookies."

"You don't know that."

 _"Yes_ I do!"

Tim narrowed his eyes, and bit into one. A moment later his expression changed, and he let out a noise of contentment.

"Hey, these _are_ Alfred's cookies," he said, swallowing.

"What?! Give me one!" Jason hurried towards the table.

Dick stared at them, incredulous. "Is _no one_ concerned about what's happening right now?!"

Cass shoved a cookie into his mouth. "Eat your cookie, big brother," she told him calmly.

"Cass!" Dick protested around the biscuit (these _were_ Alfred's cookies though; you couldn't fake heaven).

"I think it's obvious what happened," Jason said, his words slightly slurred as he munched on yet another cookie. "The spell transported us back to the manor, and while we were gone, Bruce decided that there was no point in dancing around the fact that you are the fucking golden child of the family." He grabbed another cookie. "Any milk to wash these down with?"

"You do _not_ live here." Damian folded his arms across his chest, scowling. "Stop consuming all our food, Todd!"

 _"Guys!_ Come on!" Dick yelled, desperately. "You can't honestly believe that Bruce took those photos down from half way across the world! We need to find some way to contact him, or — Cass, don't you _dare_ shove that cookie in my mouth — "

"You know, I think it's day time." Tim peered out of the window. "…Which, you know, is yet another sign that something's wrong — "

"Who _are_ you people?!"

And just like that, all arguments stopped. Slowly, Dick, along with his siblings, turned to face the doorway.

Dick's eyes widened in shock when he saw who was standing there. He opened his mouth to — well, he wasn't sure _what_ he was going to do, or say, but he probably would have done something — even if he just ended up staring and gaping like an utter moron — when the room once again faded in a rush of darkness.

The next thing he knew, he was standing on the rooftop once again. A few flashes of green light later, and his siblings had joined him.

There was a moment of silence.

"…What just happened?"

"I think that was me," Dick said, blinking in surprise.

Jason's let out a noise of amusement. "Uh, no offense Dickhead, but if you honestly think you're _that_ much of a shrimp, you have some serious self-esteem issues."

Dick shot him a look of annoyance. "That's how I looked when I was younger."

"What happened then?" Cass cocked her head to the side. "Time travel?"

Tim's pursed his lips. "Alternate dimension?"

"The old man found a new Robin?"

Damian shot Jason a vicious glare.

"I don't know…" Dick looked around, taking in his surroundings. They were back where they had been. Whatever had happened, it hadn't lasted long. Still though…

"We should try and figure out what happened," he told them firmly. "I don't want to risk it happening again."

...

Batman frowned.

"So what you're saying is, a group of people — "

"In masks and costumes."

" — broke into the manor, ate Alfred's cookies…and then disappeared in a flash of green light?"

"Yes." Robin's shoulders slumped, and he let out a moan of distress. "Bruce…they ate _all_ the cookies!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, to avoid confusion, when I'm referring to the Bat-siblings and they're version of Batman, I'll be using first names; when I refer to the ones from the YJ!verse, I'll be calling them "Batman" and "Robin".
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	3. Chapter Three

Strangely enough, everything seemed to be fine. The spell didn't seem to have left any aftereffects - at last not any that they could identify. Dick had even taken the liberty of calling Barbara (despite their awkward I-don't-know-what's-happening-between-us relationship) which showed that he wasn't letting his personal life cloud his judgement when on the field. Bruce would be proud.

…Except for the fact that he'd completely avoided informing Bruce of the nights events, something his adoptive father would decidedly _not_ approve of.

Dick just didn't see the point. Barbara, in all her all-knowing Oracle glory, had informed him that the green light had been some sort of time travelling spell. Apparently this type of spell had been used before - enough that a small amount of information had been able to accumulate. She hadn't been able to find much about it, but from what she had been able to deduce, it was a one-off thing; sent you careening into the past, and back, and that was it. Dick really didn't think there was much left to do — he'd made sure to complete a number of tests, and none of them had revealed any dangerous after-effects or changes. Hopefully that meant he could live with the knowledge that he had _not_ completely screwed up while left in charge.

(Maybe it was Gotham's way of getting revenge for his refusal to wear the Batsuit and cowl. Well, if that was the case, Gotham could kiss his spandex-covered arse).

"Thanks Oracle," he said, before switching off his communicator. Sighing (it had been a _long_ night), he removed his suit, and trudged out of the Batcave. He could hear Damian and Tim arguing in the kitchen, and bit back a groan. Silently, he thanked his lucky stars that Jason had chosen to separate from the group upon their return to the present. Dick didn't think he'd be able to restrain himself if another three-way argument started.

Dick stood still for a few moments, debating whether it was wise to venture into the kitchen.

…No. No, it _really_ wasn't. Sure, the kitchen meant Alfred, and Alfred meant hot chocolate and cookies. But right now, hot chocolate and cookies also meant dealing with his…sweet, lovable (annoying, _oh so annoying)_ baby brothers.

Nope. He wasn't doing it.

"I need a bath," Dick groaned. Yes, that was what he'd do — he'd go upstairs, strip down, and take a long, nice, wonderful bubble bath.

Dick couldn't keep the smile of his face and he made his way upstairs. This was just what he needed - a quiet, relaxing bath, free of the ever-present family feuds that ran rampant in Wayne manor. He'd go down later, when Tim and Damian were asleep, and see if Alfred could make him a cup of that wonderful hot chocolate. Hell, maybe his siblings would be exceptionally nice and leave him some cookies (…he doubted it).

And everyone had returned to the manor alive, and relatively unscathed tonight — that was an added bonus.

Perhaps this night wasn't so bad after all.

...

 _…Damn_ him and his ever-present optimism.

 _Damn_ it all!

He should have _known_ it was too good to be true. Bubble baths…hot chocolate…the possibility of cookies — some much needed _silence!_ Was that so much to ask?

Apparently it was if you were Dick Grayson.

If it were any of else, they'd probably be upstairs right now, sighing in contentment as their body was engulfed in warm, wonderful water, and plotting ways to force his family to bond through methods that included trips to the mall, ice-cream, and large amounts of rope.

But no — it was Dick Grayson. So he _wasn't_ in his bath, enjoying the luxury of lavender-scented water and bubbles (okay, so maybe it was a bit girly, but hey - there was no one around to judge him!), and he wasn't mapping out what he'd do after he tied his siblings together, locked them in the living room, and sealed all the windows shut.

One minute Dick was enjoying a nice, calming bath, and the next thing he knew he was standing butt-naked in front of his former team, who were looking varying degrees of shocked, horrified and…disturbingly pleased.

And Dick? Well, he honestly had no idea what the fuck was going on.

"What do you think you're _doing?"_

He whirled around, eyes wide, ears roaring, not sure what the _hell_ was happening to him (was this some kind of fucked up dream? It had to be some horrible, stress-driven, dream. That, or he'd drowned in the bathtub and was…death-dreaming. Could you dream when you were dead? He'd have to ask Jason).

The entire Justice League stood there, staring at him in shock, anger and embarrassment.

And Bruce had spoken. Of- _fucking_ -course, Bruce was here, staring at him in all his naked glory.

(Oh crap — he was naked. He should probably do something about that).

"C-could I have some clothes?" He was vaguely aware of how desperate he sounded, but couldn't find it in himself to care. He moved his hands so that they covered his most private areas, and felt his cheeks burning.

_'Oh god, please let this be a nightmare…'_

"Who _is_ that guy?" a horrified voice demanded. Wally. Oh fuck, there was a weird, de-aged version of his former team behind him. Oh _fuck again,_ he had no pants, and his butt was bare, and — and —

 _"Clothes!"_ he pleaded. "Please, for the love of _GOD_ give me some clothes!"

And then, well, the nightmare had to escalate, because, of _course_ Clark had to go and recognise him.

Dick watched, feeling a mixture of humiliated, horrified, and sick, as his surrogate uncle's eyes widened in shock. The Kryptonian's mouth opened, and Dick thought, _'no, please no — offer me clothes, call me a sick pervert, PUNCH ME IN THE FUCKING FACE, just do NOT say — '_

_"Dick?!"_

_"What?!_ " Dinah spluttered, shocked. _"What_ did you just — "

"That's Dick!" Clark's hand flapped wildly through the air. "It — _look_ at his face!"

Oh, so they were looking at his face now — that was better than the alternative. Except it was still pretty fucking bad, since he was naked, and his dad was here, and his surrogate aunties and uncles were here, and all his _friends_ and — oh god, oh god, _his younger self was in the room_ —

Could someone _please_ offer him some clothes?!

"I hate my life," he whimpered. "I hate my life _so so_ much."

...

Robin was having a bad day.

It was bad enough that some creeps had broken into the manor and had eaten all his cookies — and then they'd run out of ingredients, so Alfred _couldn't make any new ones_ — but then the mission had been a complete disaster (heavy on the 'dis'), and the League had been forced to intervene. Which, of course meant that a harsh chewing-out had been on the table, and the entire Justice League looked pretty disappointed with them.

All he wanted was to finish up, go home, and get some sleep. Sleep was a good solution for a bad day.

(So was hot chocolate — hopefully Bruce wasn't too mad at him, and wouldn't try to deny him his right to said chocolaty goodness).

And, well, the League had been about to finish up, and he'd been about to do just that — and then the naked guy had appeared, and any plans for a quick retreat home had gone out the window.

Problem 1 — the guy was naked. Robin, in all his thirteen-year-old glory, decided that this was the last thing he wanted to see. Ever.

Problem 2 — the guy seemed too horrified to cover up. Which meant that Robin was forced to see way more than he wanted to.

Problem 3 — the guy turned around. That should have been a good thing, except it wasn't, because, well — _butt._

Problem 4 — why was Clark calling him 'Dick'?

Robin decided that he really, _really_ didn't like where this was going.

...

The world was a horrible place.

A horrible, dark, dark place, filled with ex-team mates that couldn't stop staring, a younger version of his mentor/father who wouldn't stop staring, younger versions of his surrogate Justice League family who wouldn't stop staring, a younger version of _himself_ who wouldn't stop staring…

…see the pattern forming here?

Basically, everything was utterly, completely, miserably horrible. He had no clothes. Everyone was staring. His bath was ruined, and he could say goodbye to Alfred's amazing hot chocolate.

_('Oh my god, why can't someone do something — Bruce, come on, you're the one who takes charge, and I know the sight of your naked adoptive son is probably traumatic but for FUCKS SAKE this is traumatic for me too, and please, please, PLEASE give me clothes or SOMETHING…')._

And then, somehow — whether through another kick-up-the arse from that bastard known as the universe, or a gift, he wasn't completely sure — he heard a series of furious screams.

 _Damian's_ furious screams.

_"GRAYSON! I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!"_

The Justice League (and probably the team — Dick wasn't 100% sure, since he couldn't see what was happening behind him) looked torn between staring at him with confused, embarrassed, and shocked expressions, and turning to stare at the newest occupant of the room, who had appeared in a flash of green light.

…The newest occupant who was dressed in a Nightwing onesie.

_'Little D is wearing a NIGHTWING onesie!'_

Suddenly everything was sunshine, and rainbows, and adorable-baby-brothers in Dick's world again (at least until he remembered where he was, and what he wasn't wearing).


	4. Chapter Four

It had been a _long_ day, and Tim was just glad it was nearly over. To be honest, he would have called it an average day — nothing overly interesting had happened for the majority of it — but then night had come, and with it, his crazy family. Dick was probably right — deep down ( _deeeeep down),_ he really did love them. Maybe. But — well, after dealing with Dick's unshakable enthusiasm, Jason's insanity, and Damian's…Damian-ness, Tim was more than ready to call it a night.

Although he'd be having a few cookies first, because Alfred had made them, and Alfred's cookies were the product of rainbows, and unicorns, and everything good and happy in the world.

"That's enough," Alfred chided, tapping Tim lightly on the head. "Save some for your brothers."

"I'll save one for Dick," Tim replied, his mouth full. "Jason already left, and Demon Brat doesn't need any sugar in his system."

"Be nice," Cass said, frowning slightly. Despite this, Tim noticed the amused glint in her eyes.

Tim stood up, and stretched. He shook out his hair, feeling droplets of water run down the back of his neck. He'd had a bath a short while ago, and he'd thought his hair would dry well enough on his own. He ran his fingers through the wet locks, and turned to Cass.

"Have you seen the hair dryer?" Tim asked (and really, it was ridiculous that in this huge, billion-dollar mansion, they only had _one_ hair dryer).

"Upstairs." Cass pointed in the direction of the staircase. "Main bathroom."

Tim nodded, and turned towards the staircase.

"I'm fairly certain Master Dick is in there," Alfred called after him. "You might want to knock first."

Tim nodded again, and then headed upstairs. He made a mental to-do list as he walked: he'd dry his hair, go to bed and…well, that was it. He'd already changed into his pyjamas (the oversized Robin-themed ones that Dick had got him for his last birthday), and really, all he wanted to do at the moment was sleep. Sleep was amazing; and then he'd wake up in the morning, and hopefully they'd be done with these crazy family team-ups by then.

He knocked on the bathroom door. "Dick. Can you pass me the dryer?"

He stood by the door for a moment, waiting, and then frowned when he realised that no one was coming.

"Dick!" he called again. He took a step forward, and then paused. The ground was wet, he realised with a jolt. _Really_ wet. He glanced down, and his eyes widened in alarm. Shit, there was water _leaking_ from under the door. Lots, and lots of water — which was probably coming from the bathtub, and if Dick was in that bathtub, then he was either _really_ out of it, and hadn't notice that the tub was overflowing, or —

" _Dick!_ _"_ He slammed his fist against the door. "Dick! Are you in there?!"

Dick didn't answer, and Tim let out a groan of frustration. He stared at the door for a split second, considering his options — he could barge inside, and see parts of his brother he never, ever wanted to see, or he could not barge in and potentially leave his brother to drown.

Well — the choice was obvious (although if this became a pattern, he was going to force Dick to wear a swimsuit while he bathed).

Tim twisted the doorknob, relieved when it opened with ease. The last thing he needed was to waste time breaking down the door. He stepped into the room, his eyes zeroing on the overflowing bathtub. And, _god,_ he couldn't see Dick anywhere. There was just water everywhere, flowing out of the tub, covering the entirety of the bathroom. Tim ran to the tub, nearly slipping on the wet floor, and shoved his hands frantically into the water.

" _Dick!_ _"_

"Tim?" Cass appeared in the doorway, her eyes wide. "Tim, what happened?"

Tim felt his palms hit the bottom of the empty tub, and let out a cry of relief. The tub was empty — the goddamn tub was _empty,_ and he was seriously going to kick Dick in the head for this later —

"Tim?" Cass repeated. "What happened? Is Dick hurt?"

"No Dick's fine, he's just an idiot," Tim replied, panting slightly. "He _left the goddamn water running,_ and I thought he was drowning or something, that _idiot_ _— "_

Cass's brow furrowed. "Why would he leave the water on?" she asked. "Where is he?"

Tim reached out to turn the water off, and shook his head. "No idea. I'm going to go look — "

Tim's voice cut off abruptly as he felt something solid and _huge_ slam into him. He let out a scream of surprise as he fell forward, straight into the water. He yelped loudly and thrashed wildly as he forced himself upwards. He grabbed onto the sides of the tub and pushed upwards, as water splashed onto the bathroom floor.

"What the _hell?!_ _"_ Tim glanced around wildly. "What was — _Titus?!_ _"_

He stared in shock, because, sure enough, there stood Damian's dog, eyes wide in alarm, tail and ears standing upright.

Titus let out a series of loud barks, and slammed his front paws against the tub. Tim yelped and pushed himself a way.

"Hey, stop that!" he snapped. "What are you _doing?!_ _"_

"Shh," Cass murmured, patting the dog gently. "Calm down Titus."

Tim frowned. "Why's he barking like that?" He stared at the dog, who was still barking loudly, and realised that he sounded terrified. Tim felt a jolt of fear, because first the bathtub, and now _this._ And for Titus, who was usually almost scarily perfect, to be acting this way, then…

"Shit," Tim cursed, pushing himself out of the tub. "Damian!"

He hurried out of the bathroom, Cass on his heels. He let out a series of curses under his breath. Maybe Damian had just pulled off a huge prank, and if that was the case, the little brat was going to _get_ it — but maybe he really was in trouble, and Tim couldn't just leave him if that was the case.

"Damian!" He skidded to a halt in front of his youngest brother's room. "Damian, are you there?"

He pushed the door open, barging into the room. It was empty. Tim let out a curse, and turned around.

"Cass, can you check downstairs — "

He paused. Titus stood in the doorway; though he still looked spooked, his barking had calmed somewhat. Cass, however, was no where to be seen.

"Cass?" Tim called out. He was _sure_ she'd been right behind him. He walked to the doorway, and glanced outside. The hallway was empty. Tim felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. God, this was so _strange_ _—_ what the hell was _happening_?

"Cass? Cass, are you — ?"

And then there was a familiar flash of green light. Tim felt a brief jolt of alarm, heard Titus let out a loud, alarmed howl, and then the world around him disappeared.

…

Dick had a split second to deal with a myriad of emotions — happiness at seeing Damian, embarrassment at the fact that he was still naked, horror at the realisation that Damian would see him naked, even more horror as he remembered that, _holy fuck he_ _'_ _d done naked time travel_ _—_

And then Damian started screaming, and everyone started talking at once, and Dick really had no idea what was going on anymore.

"Look away from him, you fools!" Damian snarled, launching himself at the group. His eyes roamed over the group, before zeroing in on Artemis, who was staring at Dick, her jaw hanging open. Damian's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You! Harlot! Look away, _now!_ _"_

" _Damian!_ _"_ Dick yelled. He would have tried to stop him but…well, he _really_ didn't feel like moving right now.

"Har — what the _hell_ did you just call me?!" 

"Damian, stop it!" Dick cried out desperately. "And — please, _someone_ get me some clothes!"

"Worthless woman!" Damian pointed his finger threateningly at Artemis. It was actually kind of cute, what with the Nightwing onesie and everything (and Dick being Dick totally noticed this, despite his mortifying predicament). "Remove your eyes from my brother's genitals at once!"

Dick bit back a howl of frustration. _"_ _Dami_ _—_ wait, you called me brother?" He paused, and then shook his head; no, the Little D love could come later. "Damian! Stop! No, don't — oh, for fuck's sake, _I can_ _'_ _t do this when I_ _'_ _m naked!_ _"_

Something hit him in the face.

"Cover yourself," Bruce growled.

Dick complied, hurriedly wrapping himself in — wait, hold on a second, this looked _really_ familiar —

"You gave him my cape?!" Clark yelped.

Bruce barely spared him a glance. "Do you see anything else around here?" 

"Oh I don't know! How about _your_ cape?!"

Bruce's expression remained blank. "This discussion is over," he said, stiffly, before turning back to Dick. Dick wrapped the cape tighter around himself, flushing in embarrassment.

Bruce glanced at the team. "All of you, get out of the room," he growled. His order was mostly ignored; his younger-self ( _god_ that was weird), and his former teammates were too busy staring at Artemis and Damian, who were still embroiled in their screaming match.

"Okay, kid, I _swear,_ if you call me that _one more time,_ I'm getting my bow — "

" — My imbecilic older brother cannot control his urges, judging from his past experiences with the opposite sex. I _REFUSE_ to allow someone like you to enter the family — our great name has already been sullied enough, what with Father _insisting_ on thrusting those idiots Drake and Todd upon us — "

…Well okay, Damian was doing most of the screaming.

"Okay, who the _hell_ is that kid?" Wally demanded.

"Dami, shh!" Dick whispered frantically.

Damian glared. "I was defending the honour of this family."

"Yes, well — "

"I don't care," Bruce growled, cutting them off. "The two of you — _do not move._ You — " He pointed one finger at the gaggle of confused teenagers, " — get out."

Younger-him (and god, had he always been that short?) shook his head in protest. "But — "

"You heard the man!" Oliver interjected. Dick turned to stare at the League, all of whom were staring at him in varying degrees of disbelief and confusion. In all the chaos, he'd almost forgotten they were all here. "Kids, get the hell out, so we can find out what the _hell_ is going on."

The team exchanged glances for a moment, and Dick was almost certain that younger-him — Robin, yes, he'd just call him Robin — was going to argue. But then the teen let out a sigh, and nodded reluctantly. The rest of the team frowned, but followed his lead, and, slowly, they filed out of the room.

Dick fairly sure they'd find some way to listen in — Robin may have been _way_ younger, but he was still _him,_ and Dick remembered what he'd been like at that age — but he was tired, and cold, and embarrassed, and really didn't feel like caring too much right now.

The second the door had closed, Clark turned to him, his eyes wide. "Are you _really_ Dick?" His voice was a mixture of disbelief and excitement.

"Uh, hey Uncle Clark," Dick said, grinning weakly. He paused, shuffling awkwardly, uncertain of what else to stay. He glanced down, and remembered the red cape that he was still wrapped in. He flushed in embarrassment, and glanced up at Bruce.

"Uh, before we continue this, do you mind if I…er, get some actual clothes?" Bruce stared at him impassively, and the rest of the League just gaped. Dammit, why did this have to be so damn _awkward?_ "Not that your cape isn't great and all," he hurried on, "but, uh…well, this is all just really weird…"

Bruce's eyes narrowed. "First we confirm your identity," he said, staring at Dick with more than a little suspicion in his eyes. Dick wasn't even surprised — after all, this was _Bruce._ While most parents would jump for joy when their naked, time travelling son appeared in front of them (…okay maybe that sentence needed rephrasing), Bruce, of course, would first interrogate said time travelling child before making any further moves.

It was times like this that Dick wished Bruce was like other parents.

At least Damian had quietened down. Dick spared his little brother a glance, and saw Damian staring murderously at the group in front of him. Well, it was an improvement from before. As long as he didn't actually try to kill anyone, they were all good.

Dick glanced back and Bruce. "Uh, you sure I can't have some clothes first?" He coughed awkwardly. "I'm…butt-naked under this thing…"

"Yeah, how the hell did that happen anyway?" Oliver asked, incredulous. "I mean, if you're going to time-travel — and I assume that's what this is — why the hell would you do it in the nude?"

Dick stared. "…I sure as hell didn't _plan_ for this to happen!"

Damian's expression darkened. "Would somebody _please_ shut these imbeciles up?"

Oliver turned his attention to Damian, squinting at him in confusion. He glanced between Dick and Damian, his brow furrowed, as if he were trying to solve a complex puzzle. "Uh…that's not _your_ kid, is it?"

"No — "

"Enough!" Bruce turned to Dick, his eyes narrowed. "Do you know my name?"

Dick stared at him incredulously. "Well _obviously_ I — " He paused, and sighed. "Yes. I know your name — you are Bruce Wayne, you adopted me after my parents died when I was nine years old — "

"Anyone could know that."

Dick's shoulder's slumped. "Uh, well, okay then, I don't know how I can prove…"

Damian turned to him, and said scornfully, "why don't you tell Father about how you made us all skip patrol last week to buy _ice cream_ of all things."

Dick coughed. "Uh, well, first of all, Bruce doesn't know about that…not in our time, and definitely not now, so that wouldn't be effective at all." He paused, and stared at Damian for a moment. "…Hey, by the way, your pyjamas — "

Damian flushed. "Somebody hid all my other pyjamas!" he protested hurriedly. "It was Pennyworth, I am almost certain — I had no choice!"

"…Yeah, but where did you _get_ them from."

"That — that is none of your business, Grayson!" 

Bruce rubbed his forehead, sighing in irritation. The rest of the League shifted, exchanging confused, unsettled glances.

"J'onn will go though your minds," Bruce said impatiently. "He'll assess whether or not you're telling the truth."

From his tone, Dick could tell that Bruce wasn't asking for their permission. He shrugged, and nodded; he wasn't exactly comfortable with anyone going through his mind, but he really wanted to get this over and done with, and this conversation didn't seem to be going anywhere.

It took a few moments. Dick felt Damian standing by his side, tense and nervous, and he lay a hand gently on his shoulder. Finally, J'onn stepped away, nodding his head.

"He's telling the truth. They are from the future," he replied. Murmurs of shock erupted around the room. J'onn turned to Dick. "You have an…interesting family."

"I can't believe it," Diana murmured, staring at Dick with warm eyes. "Look at you, all grown up."

"And so _handsome,_ _"_ Dinah added, her eyes wide.

Oliver snorted. "Yeah, yeah, you say that to everyone, but you only _mean_ it when you say it to me."

Dinah rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up."

Damian let out a noise of impatience and stormed forward. His fists were clenched tightly at his sides. "Now that everything is sorted out, will you _please_ give Grayson some cloths, and find a way to send us _home?!_ _"_

Everyone turned to stare at Damian.

Bruce's eyes narrowed. "Who are you?" he asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

Damian rolled his eyes. "Obviously I can't _tell_ you that, or I'd be risking the future — "

"He's my baby brother," Dick reaching down to ruffle Damian's hair. "Damian Wayne."

"Grayson, you _idiot."_ And okay, maybe that had been a really bad idea, but the shocked look on Bruce's face made it worth it. It wasn't every day that you caught Batman off guard, after all.

Everyone turned to stare at Damian, all looking equally shocked. It was obvious that they hadn't even considered the notion that he could be _Bruce_ _'_ _s_ son. Dick studied their expressions, and noticed that Clark's eyes looked ready to bug out of his head, Barry's head was practically a blur as he glanced rapidly between Bruce and Damian, and Oliver's jaw was unhinged.

Diana gasped, pressing a hand to her mouth. "Bruce, he looks just like you," she murmured, awe in her voice.

Bruce shook his head, hurrying on. "Obviously, we should find a way to get you home — " (Okay, he wasn't imagining that; Bruce sounded _flustered)._

"Oh my god Bruce, he has your scowl and everything!"

"Uh…" Dick glanced down, and then back up again. "…Can I have some clothes now?"

…

When the light faded, it didn't take Tim long to figure out that he wasn't in the manor anymore. He glanced around, trying to quell his panic, and tried to figure out where he was. There were people everywhere — busy people, clearly, since they had yet to notice him — and the building looked _really_ familiar…

"Tim!"

Tim turned, and let out a sigh of relief when he caught sight of Cass.

"Cass!" he cried. "Where the hell are we?"

Cass opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, a loud voice interrupted.

"Hey! Are you kids alright over there?"

Tim turned, suddenly acutely aware of the fact that he was soaking wet, and dressed in his Robin pyjamas — and that Cass was equally pyjama-clad — and then realised _why_ the building looked so familiar. When he saw the cop, making his way towards them, Tim wasn't even surprised. He was horrified though — _really_ horrified, because he had no idea how they'd ended up here, and this was not how he usually presented himself in public. Ever.

"Cass," he whispered frantically, "why the hell are we in the _police station?!_ _"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So….this took me a ridiculously long time to update, and so I apologise. I am seriously the laziest person ever, and I just hope this chapter was worth the long wait. Thank you so much to everyone who didn't give up on this story.
> 
> Also, Jason will be here in the next chapter - which, hopefully, won't take me another 6 months to post. Again, SO sorry! Hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> (Oh, and also — if there was any confusion about Tim and Cass's part, they were thrown back in time too, just to a different location than Dick and Damian).


	5. Chapter Five

Tim stared frantically at his sister, who looked just as bewildered. He remembered barging into Damian's room, worried for his younger brother (and God, he would _never_ admit that to anyone), and the next thing he knew, he and Cass were standing in the GCPD precinct. In his _soaking wet pajamas,_ to make things even worse.

(Although if he'd known about Dick's predicament, he may not have felt as bad).

Tim immediately thought of that earlier instance, when they'd ended up in the manor. This was basically the same thing that had happened then — but Dick had seemed so certain when he'd said it was a one-time thing, and Barbara was usually excellent with the information she gathered.

And the fact that, previously, they'd been transported _back in time…_ well Tim didn't want to think about what that meant for where (or when) he was right now.

"Is everything alright?"

Tim tensed; shit, that was right, they were surrounded by police officers. A cop — unfamiliar, thank god; Tim sure as hell didn't want to deal with someone they did know, like Commissioner Gordon — was walking over. Tim glanced at Cass, and saw her eyeing the man warily.

"Everything's fine," Tim said quickly, even though he inwardly acknowledged how he and Cass would have appeared to the curious onlookers glancing their way — both of them clad in pyjamas, him dripping wet, and Cass…well, Tim would have preferred her wearing something other than the tight-fitted singlet and shorts she was currently wearing. Like an oversized, shapeless onesie maybe.

(Not that he'd ever say that to _Cass,_ because she would probably break his nose).

Cass nudged him softly, and Tim decided that this probably wasn't the best time to go off on an internal rant. He tried to shoot the cop his best Timothy Drake-Wayne smile (which would have worked better with different attire, and less water, but it could have been a lot worse. He could have ended up with Demon Brat instead of Cass).

"Everything's fine," he assured the man, who stared at him dubiously.

"Do you need me to call anyone for you? Your parents maybe?"

Oh sure that'd go well. _"Hi Mr. Wayne — there are two kids here who say that they yours — wait, you don't know who Tim Drake or Cassandra Cain are?"_ Or perhaps they'd call his biological parents — _"Mr and Mrs. Drake, your son Tim is down at the station — wait HOW old is your son? Alright, I'll just arrest this imposter then!"_

Tim quickly shook his head. "No, don't worry about it," he assured the cop. "We…we're just — "

"It's a dare," Cass supplied.

Tim blinked, and then nodded his head.

The cop's brow furrowed. "What?"

"This is a dare," Tim said hurriedly. "Our…brother told us to do it."

"A dare," the cop repeated, glancing between the two of them. "Your sure? Something didn't seem right."

"We're just embarrassed," Tim said, and tried to convey that through his voice. It was surprisingly easy, because, shockingly enough, standing around in wet, oversized pyjamas, with cartoonish prints on them (and he was burning these when he got home, whether Dick liked it or not) was _fucking embarrassing._

The cop stared at them for a moment longer, and then nodded. "Alright. You kids head home then — it's freezing outside, and you can't be comfortable like that." He glanced between them, and frowned. "Do you want a jacket, or something?"

"We like the cold," Cass replied, and gave him a solemn stare. As much as Tim loved his sister, that gaze could often be unnerving, and he wasn't surprised when the cop turned around and hurried off, after giving them a quick nod.

Huh — he should have suggested that before.

"Let's go." He nodded towards the exit. Cass nodded, and hurried after him. Tim bit back a yelp as he stepped outside, and was hit by a wave of cold.

"Shit, it's freezing."

Cass nodded. "It's like what happened before," she said. "We've…traveled back in time?"

Tim shrugged. "It makes sense I guess…that's what happened before, and I remember that weird green light appearing again this time. But it wasn't supposed to happen again, was it? And — _shit_ it's cold."

"Want to go back inside?" Cass suggested.

Tim shook his head vehemently. As uncomfortable as that was, he was _not_ going back inside.

"What do we do?" he asked, his teeth chattering. "We got sent back before, but I have no idea when — or if — that'll happen again. We can't just stay here until that happens."

"The manor," Cass suggested. "We should talk to Bruce."

Tim paused, and considered this. On one hand…he _really_ didn't want to do that. As much as he loved his adopted father, there was no escaping the fact that Bruce was almost always insanely suspicious, and showing up at his doorstep, claiming to be his future children and colleagues, probably wouldn't earn them excited hugs or kisses.

(And if that _did_ happen then this was probably some messed-up alternate universe, because…no. Just no).

On the other hand, it was deal with Bruce's suspicious tendencies, and probable repeated background checks, DNA analysis, security questions, and God-knows how many other mind-numbing tasks; or stand out here, in the freezing cold, until they either got sent back to their own time, or developed hyperthermia. Also, there was the fact that, the last time this had happened, all five of them had been transported back in time. That meant that Dick, Damian and Jason could very well be stuck here somewhere, just like him and Cass.

Oh God — what if Damian was running around, unsupervised? Who _knew_ what the little demon was doing right now…

"…Yeah, sounds like a plan."

...

It had been a long night, but then, that was no surprise; pretty much any event that required long periods of interaction with his family was terrible. He'd had to deal with Replacement's whiny voice, Demon Brat, the representation of every creepy-as-fuck kid from any horror movie ever, Cass who was…actually not that bad (not that he'd ever admit that aloud, because she was still a Bat), and worst of all — Dickhead, with his annoying speeches about love, and family togetherness, and stupid sappy expression that made Jason want to break his face every time he saw him.

And the worst thing was, Jason wasn't exaggerating. At all.

(At least that's what he told himself, repeatedly, because there was no way in _hell_ he was rejoining that conglomeration of insanity).

So yeah — he'd had to deal with a more fucked up version of the Brady Bunch, had been transported to God knows where by some pathetic villain who thought she was something out of Harry Potter, and then finally — _finally_ , when he'd been able to get away from his so-called family, and into the wonderful (cheap, rundown, dank, smelly) interior of his apartment, he'd been greeted by that dreaded flash of green light.

And now he wasn't in his apartment anymore, smelling smoke and piss that seemed to waft into his apartment from outside, no matter how many times he doused the room with air-freshener, and listening to the repeated bangs and slams coming from the apartment next door, which Jason _really_ didn't want to think about too closely (but hey, it was still better than the manor, right?).

No — now he was standing in the middle of nowhere, his helmet and mask off (because he'd only just had time to take them off before he'd been dumped in wherever this was).

"What the hell was that?!"

Oh great — and now he wasn't even alone anymore.

Jason turned around (hoping like hell that it wasn't a member of his oh-so-precious family), and came face to face with… _Roy?_

He blinked.

"Arsenal?"

Roy — because that was _definitely_ Roy, even if his costume looked slightly different. Jason would recognise that stupid red-hair anywhere (and the bow and arrows definitely helped). Although, there was something _off_ about him. Jason would have examined this closer, if he wasn't suddenly preoccupied with what Roy was doing.

Roy was scowling at him, for some weird reason, which was sort of understandable, since Jason sure as hell wasn't happy about this situation either. Roy was also pointing at arrow at his chest, which was _not_ okay, because Roy, seriously, _what the fuck?!_

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Jason demanded, scowling. "Put that down! And what are you wearing…" Jason's voice trailed off, because there really did seem to be something different about Roy. It wasn't just the costume, or the hair — because that was definitely shorter than when Jason had last seen him. No, Roy just seemed…younger?

Jason squinted. He couldn't be sure — Roy was wearing a mask after all, and that obscured most of his face — but there was definitely something about the lines of his face, his body structure, hell, the way he held himself, that seemed so utterly different from the Roy he knew.

And yet this _was_ Roy. Jason was sure of that, at least.

"Okay Harper," he growled, because when in doubt, anger was always a great emotion to deflect to. "I have no fucking idea was is going on. One minute I'm in my apartment, and the next thing I know I'm here, and you're pointing an _arrow_ at me. So put that away, and let's talk, or I _will_ shoot you, friend or not."

"How do you know my name?!" Roy demanded, and unfortunately, the arrow remained.

Goddammit. Was it just him, or had Roy decreased in age, but increased in stubbornness?

Jason sighed, thinking back to what had happened earlier that day. The spell had hit them, and then…they'd been sent to the manor. Although it had been strange, hadn't it? Not the manor they knew — as much as Jason would have loved to attribute the lack of family photos to Bruce's blatant favouritism of Golden Boy, even he had to admit that it was strange. And then of course there was that weird, scrawny kid, who Dickhead insisted was himself.

Jason glanced back at Roy — and, oh yeah, he _definitely_ looked younger — thought back to mini-Dickhead, and bit back a groan.

Oh. He did _not_ like where this was going.

"What year is this?"

Roy's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Oh come on!" Jason snapped. "I haven't _done_ anything! Can you stop pointing that thing at me, and answer my question?"

"You did threaten to shoot me," Roy pointed out, but thankfully lowered the arrow.

"You were being annoying," Jason retorted. "Now — year?"

Roy stared at him for a moment, before replying. Jason immediately winced, and ran a hand through his hair. Yeah — this was _not_ good.

"Oh Jesus," he groaned. "Okay, just listen to what I'm about to say right? Stop being annoying, or I'll seriously find someone else to hang out with when I get back. So — turns out you don't know me. But you will, and I'm the coolest partner ever." With a glance at Roy's bow and arrows, he added, "which means you definitely don't want to kill me."

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

Jason sighed. Seriously, Roy wasn't this dense back in his time, was he?

"I think I've time-travelled," he said. "That, or this is some weird alternate dimension. But I'm leaning towards time travel, because I truly want to believe that Dickhead was once that scrawny, nerdy looking string-bean."

Roy stared incredulously, and Jason was sure he saw his hand inch towards the arrows.

Goddammit. This was going to be harder than he'd thought.

(Of course it was — this was his life after all).

"…Did you hear the part where I told you not to kill me? Because seriously Roy, I will make you regret it. I've already come back once."

...

"Who the hell _were_ those people?" Wally demanded, voicing the thoughts of every member of the team. They sat around, waiting impatiently for the League to come back with those strange intruders. Robin could see the curiosity on everyone's faces, and he didn't blame them; if a naked guy appeared in front of you, followed by a crazy kid who acted like he was possessed, any rational person would want to know what the hell was going on.

"I don't know, but that _kid,_ dammit!" Artemis scowled. "What kid _talks_ like that?!"

"He was kind of adorable though." Everyone turned to stare at M'gann in disbelief.

_(Adorable? REALLY?_ There were a number of words Robin would use to describe that kid, and none of them were 'adorable').

"He was _psychotic!"_ Artemis retorted. "And the other guy — why the hell wasn't he wearing any _clothes?"_

(Strangely — or maybe not so strangely — she didn't seem nearly as upset about that).

Robin briefly remembered Clark's exclamation — _"That's Dick!"_ — and shifted uncomfortably. He didn't know what Clark had seen (after all, what he had seen wasn't exactly something you'd _recognise)_ but he must have been mistaken. That, or Clark knew more than one Dick.

(And the League _had_ received a front view of Weird-Naked-Guy, so there was always that to consider. Clark's exclamation of "that's Dick!" could have been less of a cry of recognition, and more of an incoherent babble in response to things no-one should ever see).

"Superman called him a Dick," Conner said, and Robin winced. "I think they know him."

Wally shook his head. "Nah, that's not right. I know — " He glanced briefly at Robin. "…Yeah, I have no idea who they were."

Artemis' scowl deepened, and she crossed her arms. "That kid was crazy. And that other guy was…well…er…" The scowl faded, for the first time since Demon-Kid, and Weird-Naked-Guy had left the room, and she flushed slightly.

Wally shot her an incredulous stare. "Really? _Really,_ Artemis? You're going to lust after the creepy, naked guy, who just popped out of nowhere?"

"Oh shut up Baywatch!" Artemis snapped, and, yeah, the scowl was back. "There is no 'lusting' — he just had a great arse, that's all."

Robin — along with everyone but M'gann, who simply looked thoughtful — grimaced.

Kaldur coughed. "Perhaps we should focus on the real issue here…"

M'gann nodded. "Oh I agree!" Kaldur looked relieved. "It was really nice!"

The relief was gone.

Conner turned to M'gann, and blinked incredulously.

"Look, Kal's right," Robin interjected, because he just seriously wanted to change the topic. There was nothing asterous about this situation, and his thirteen year old mind just hurt. "These people appear out of nowhere, and…I don't know, they just seem to _know_ us."

Conner nodded rapidly. "And the League recognised them!"

"…You know, I don't think I've seen a butt quite like that on a man before…"

_"Artemis!"_

"What?!" Artemis retorted. "The League's dealing with it, I'm sure it's fine."

Robin opened his mouth to reply — maybe tell her, for his sake, _"please, please, shut up,"_ — when Justice League filed back into the room, followed by Demon-Kid, and Weird-Naked-Guy.

Robin was pleased to note that Weird-Naked-Guy now had clothes on. That was the first thing he noticed; the second was how _familiar_ he looked. It was the eyes he noticed first — eyes he saw almost every day in the mirror — and then the hair, and then everything else, because it was scary how much Weird-Naked-Guy looked like _him._

"Rob." Wally's voice was frantic. _"Rob,_ he looks just like — "

"Right," Bruce said, cutting off whatever Wally had been about to say. "We've spoken to our visitors, and have confirmed their identities. They pose no threat - "

Before Robin had a chance to process that — and likely be surprised, because this was _Bruce,_ and Bruce never ruled anyone out as a threat — Demon-Kid shot a glare at Artemis, and hissed, "oh Lord, the harlot is still staring."

Batman paused, and shot the kid a disapproving glare. The rest of the League looked varying degrees of shocked (Diana, Dinah, Clark), or amused (Ollie — oh course he did).

"Wha — _harlot?!"_ Artemis spluttered, while Robin found himself wondering where a kid picked up words like that (seriously — Demon-Kid couldn't have been older than ten).

"Who _else_ would I be talking to?" Demon-Kid retorted.

"Oh god kid, you are going to _get_ it!"

Bruce looked like he was seconds away from exploding at both of them, and probably would have, if Weird-Naked-Guy hadn't interrupted first.

"Damian! Knock it off! Stop antagonising Artemis!"

Surprisingly enough, Demon-Kid — Damian? And God, did that name fit — complied.

Artemis shot another glare at the kid, and then turned to Weird-Naked-Guy (who's name Robin seriously had to learn, because calling him 'Weird-Naked-Guy' were bringing up memories that were _so_ not asterous).

"Wait," she interjected, "you know who we are?"

Bruce's jaw clenched. _"As I was saying — "_

"Is the kid alright?" Clark interrupted, and Bruce's eye twitched. "He looks…upset."

Damian glared. "I am _not_ upset! A child would be upset — I am angry, yes, because I am constantly surrounded by idiots! But _upset?!"_

Everyone stared.

Weird-Naked-Guy let out an awkward laugh, and pat Damian affectionately on the shoulder. "He's fine. Just a little out of his comfort zone."

"I am _not_ out of my comfort zone! And you will cease this behaviour at once, because I am _not_ a child!"

"Look's like a child to me," Oliver interjected.

Damian's eyes flashed dangerously. "You _dare_ speak to me like that — "

"They're from the future!"

The room descended into silence; something Robin didn't even think was possible at this point.

"What?" he choked out, when he remembered that this was Batman, and Batman never joked.

"We're from the future," Weird-Naked-Guy said, and placed a hand on Damian's shoulder. "My little brother and I. We were patrolling, and were hit by a spell. It sent us back here."

"If you were patrolling, then why were you naked?"

It was Conner who asked that, and…that was a very good question.

Weird-Naked-Guy flushed. "I wasn't _naked_ when I was _patrolling._ That — that happened later…"

Damian snorted.

Bruce sighed, and, with a single bat-glare, effectively shut everyone up. "You won't have to concern yourself with this," he said. "The League will find a way to get them home, and you will continue on as usual."

"Who are they?" Robin demanded.

Bruce frowned at him. "Again, this isn't something any of you should worry about. They will be staying with me until further notice."

Robin straightened at that, his eyes widening. Bruce…was letting them stay at the _manor?_ Robin spared another glance at the strange intruders, and once again found himself stuck on the elder of the two, and his strikingly familiar features.

Bruce was letting them stay at the manor. He'd said they were from the _future._ Clark had called him _Dick._

…Actually, come to think of it, it'd take an idiot _not_ to put those pieces together.

"We just wanted you to be aware of exactly what happened," Diana said, while Robin continued to gape in a manner that would probably have embarrassed him if he'd been aware of it. "We have confirmed their identities, and they pose no threat."

"Not sure about that," Artemis grumbled, glaring at Damian, who glared back.

Wally turned to Robin. "Rob, he said, "that guy looks _exactly_ like you. And Superman called him _Dick."_

Robin winced, because, _'thank you Wally, I'd already figured that out!'_ He glanced towards Weird-Naked-Guy, and — oh god, _he was Weird-Naked-Guy._ And that brought up all sorts of mentally scarring images, and Robin _really_ didn't want to think about that, because this was a disaster, and totally heavy on the dis —

Weird-Naked-Guy — _him_ — caught him staring, and smiled.

Robin turned away quickly, his eyes wide.

_"Rob!"_

"I _know,"_ Robin moaned.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Finally have this out! And I really hope this chapter was worth the wait. Hopefully I haven't scared all my readers off with that massive wait, but thank you for being patient.
> 
> I'm sort of using a mix of pre-New 52, and New 52; so, like in the rebooted DC universe, Jason will be friends with Roy. Obviously it'll be slightly different from how they met in the comics, since YJ!Roy really wouldn't fit with that storyline, but I just really want Roy and Jason to interact in this haha. A lot of the information regarding the comic-verse Batfam will most likely come from the pre-reboot comics though.
> 
> And now, just a few things I'd like to ask:
> 
> Firstly, I'd like you guys to tell me what sort of things you'd like to see in this story in the upcoming chapters. I'm having some trouble coming up with an outline for this story, so some suggestions would be great!
> 
> Secondly, if you like YJ x Comics crossovers, I just posted a new one called "What Comes After." It's centered on Damian, but also includes the rest of the Batfam, and takes place after Batman Incorporated, #8. While it isn't humor like this fic, there will be plenty of Batfam moments in it, so you might like to check it out!
> 
> Thirdly — anyone know any good YJ x Comics crossovers, with time travel or dimension travel? Because I seriously love these things, and I think I've read all the ones that exist haha.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed this chapter, and tell me what you think! :)


	6. Chapter Six

As Cass and Tim made their way to Wayne Manor (trying to move as fast as possible, because, _goddammit,_ it was cold), Tim quickly made a list of possible excuses. After all, they'd need to tell Bruce _something,_ and Tim still hadn't come up with anything beyond, "Hi, nice to meet you, now let us in before we freeze to death."

"So, we could tell Bruce that we're allies, and that we…no, there's no way he'd listen to us without proof. Um…we could tell him that we're from the future, but leave out the actual relationships? Or…"

"The truth."

Tim turned to Cass, his brow furrowing. "Huh?"

"We tell them the truth," Cass repeated.

Tim shook his head. "Cass, look at us — if we show up, claiming that we're from the future, while dressed like this, he's going to think we're insane."

Okay, not completely true. He was sure if he gave Bruce enough proof, the man wouldn't just ignore their claims. But…Tim _really_ didn't want to show up to the manor dressed like this. The strange looks they were receiving as they walked down the street were embarrassing enough.

Then again, Bruce _did_ run around dressed like a giant bat.

"We give him proof," Cass said, because, for some reason, the situation didn't even seem to phase her. "He'll believe us."

A very good point. _But_ …

" _Or_ we could just tell him that we're trying to apprehend two dangerous criminals, and ask if we can borrow the Batcave. Then, we take a quick look at the Batcomputer, and see if there's anything we can use to help us get home…" His voice trailed off, and he sighed. "Well, it's a nice thought anyway."

Cass looked thoughtful. "Who would the dangerous criminals be?"

"Damian and Jason," Tim said, because honestly, who _else_ would it be.

(Chances were, Jason was probably running around somewhere too. And not the cute-not-murderous Jason of this time period, but the psychotic bastard that was his 'big brother.' Tim didn't even try consider an alternative, because he just wasn't lucky enough for _that_ to happen).

They reached the manor, and hesitated outside the door (well, Tim hesitated, and Cass stared at him expectantly). Then, the door opened, and Tim was reminded of the fact that there were _a_ _lot_ of security cameras installed on the property. Someone had obviously seen them coming.

_Dammit._

Alfred stood on the other side of the door, staring at them with an expression that was a mixture of curious and suspicious. Since this was Alfred, Tim sincerely hoped he was observant enough to know that they weren't drunk and/or high, despite their current appearances.

Alfred opened his mouth to speak — probably to ask who the hell they were (or something along those lines) — and Tim hurriedly cut in.

"Alright, I know this might seem strange, but we're from the future. And we know all about Bruce, because — "

" — we're his kids," Cass finished.

All in all, a terrible explanation, but Tim had other things to worry about.

Alfred stared.

"Look, you can question us — "

"Come inside," Alfred said calmly.

Tim broke off, and stared at him incredulously. Alfred sounded incredibly accepting. Either there was something huge that he was missing, or he seriously needed to start worrying for the older man's mental state.

Alfred turned his head, and called out, "Master Bruce! It appears we have another two time-traveling visitors."

…Wait, _what_?

...

There actually was a very good reason for Alfred's easy acceptance of the situation, which had nothing to do with failing mental stability, and very much to do with Dick and Damian.

An hour prior to Tim and Cass's arrival, Dick, Damian and Bruce prepared to head to the manor. They'd planned to use the Zeta Beams as a mode of transport, and were heading in that direction. Robin had remained with his team, still gaping with a mixture of incredulity and horror as the trio had left.

"I think Little-Me knows," Dick said, once they were far away from any prying ears.

Bruce shrugged. "Well, he is smart."

"You mean _I_ am smart."

Bruce shot him a look, and Dick swore that his lips had just twitched. In true Batman-Fashion though, any proof of this was gone a second later.

Damian was still scowling, his arms folded across his chest. As usual, it was the most adorable thing ever.

Inwardly, Dick squealed.

"Aw, Little D," he said, bounding up to stand by his little brother's side. "Why so down?"

Damian glared. "We look ridiculous!"

Dick shrugged. "Well, at least you weren't naked."

"I am in this _thing_ because of _you!"_

"…Yeah, but how exactly is this my fault?"

"Shut _up_ Grayson!"

Dick glanced up, and noticed Bruce staring at them. His lips curled into a grin. "He's adorable, isn't he?"

Damian flushed, and looked away, and Dick's grin widened. Yup — definitely adorable. Maybe he needed to work on his brother's constant need to shoot death glares at anything that breathed, but they could sort that out in time (with plenty of hugs and ice-cream…and probably _a_ _lot_ more, but Dick liked to pretend that was all it would take).

Bruce's eyebrows raised. "Little D?"

Dick nodded. "Yeah, it's my nickname for him." Damian's fists clenched. "He loves me."

_"Grayson."_

They walked in silence for a moment, and Dick could see Bruce shooting Damian wary glances from the corner of his eye. He also noticed the way that Damian glanced away, seeming equally uncomfortable. He lay a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. Damian shifted slightly, but made no move to push it away.

Dick was fairly certain that Bruce would be conducting a bunch of tests the next opportunity he had. He really needed to find a way to sit him down, and explain the Talia situation, before _that_ bombshell was dropped. He couldn't imagine any scenario where Bruce took that news with ease, and Dick would not let Damian get swept up in that drama.

They finally reached the Zeta Beams, and Dick pushed those thoughts away. That could come later; right now, he was really looking forward to seeing Alfred.

...

"Master Bruce, I wasn't expecting you home so…" Alfred's voice trailed off as he caught sight of Dick and Damian. All three, including Bruce, were now dressed in civilian garb, and had only just exited the Batcave. "I was unaware that we were expecting visitors," Alfred said at least.

Dick grinned. "Hey Alfie!"

"Pennyworth," Damian said curtly.

Alfred frowned slightly, and glanced between them, evidently confused. Then, his eyes settled on Dick, and widened in recognition.

"Master Dick?" he murmured, shocked.

"In the flesh!" Dick grinned. ' _With_ _actual_ _clothes_ _this_ _time_ , _thank_ _fuck_.'

Alfred shook his head in disbelief. "What _happened?"_ He was still staring at Dick, and there was amazement in his eyes.

"Time travel," Bruce said.

Apparently Bruce's assurance was all that Alfred needed. His eyes grew wider. "My God. And you…" He stared at Damian for a moment, and then turned to Bruce. Dick could see his eyes flickering between them, no doubt comparing their similarities. After all, Damian looked _a_ _lot_ like his father, despite the more exotic features he'd inherited from Talia, and Alfred had known Bruce when he was a child. Dick could only imagine what he was seeing.

Alfred's eyes finally settled back on Damian, and he murmured, "you aren't…?"

"Bruce's kid?" Dick supplied. "Yeah, he is. The resemblance is uncanny, right?"

Both Damian and Bruce shifted uncomfortably. Their expressions were so similar that it only heightened this resemblance.

"A child!" Alfred said, shaking his head. "Why I never would have thought...obviously we have Master Dick here, but, Master Bruce, the thought of you _settling_ _down…"_

"Father has not 'settled down,'" Damian said, his eyes narrowing. Well, Dick thought, he'd definitely gotten that right. Bruce was still Bruce, and no matter how many dysfunctional relationships he'd have (and he was looking at Catwoman and Talia), Dick had a hard time imagining any of these actually lasting. "And _I_ am his _only_ child!"

"He means his only biological child," Dick interjected.

Damian glared. "You know _exactly_ what I mean, Grayson!"

Dick rolled his eyes, ruffled his brother's hair (and smiled at the boy's furious protests), and turned back to Bruce and Alfred. The two were watching the exchange, Bruce with his eyebrows raised, and Alfred with amusement in his eyes.

"Little D adores his family. Look, he's even wearing a Nightwing onesie."

Damian let out a noise of frustration.

"Nightwing?" Bruce inquired.

Dick nodded. "Yeah, it's what I go by in the future. I outgrew Robin, I guess." He grinned. "Little D is actually the new Robin."

Bruce seemed to be processing that, although Dick wasn't sure what had interested him the most — the fact that Dick had eventually moved on from the Robin mantle, or the fact that he had a new partner (and son) in the future.

Alfred, meanwhile, was giving Damian a thoughtful stare. Dick wondered if he was trying to work out who Damian's mother was. However, if that was what he was doing, he didn't say anything.

"I take it the…younger Master Dick knows of this?" Alfred said at last.

Dick laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, he knows…"

Oh _God_ did he know.

At that, Bruce averted his gaze, and actually looked embarrassed (' _Good'_ , Dick thought viciously. Bruce had taken _way_ too long getting him actual clothes - he was allowed to be mad). Damian made a noise of displeasure and scowled, and Alfred simply looked confused.

...

"So, regardless of my overall dislike of teams, you and I are apparently teammates in the…future."

Jason nodded. "Yes."

Roy was staring at Jason like he wasn't sure _what_ to make of him. "…With an alien who shoots lasers from her eyes?"

"A _hot_ alien." Who had dated Dickhead, but everyone had their faults. Kory was awesome, so he wasn't going to judge her for that _too_ much. Besides, it was probably all Dickhead's fault — he had some sort of weird, brainwashing power, that only worked on Redheads. Jason wouldn't be surprised if Roy ended up dating him at some point.

(Thank God Dickhead also had another amazing power — being unable to actually _stay_ in any of these relationships).

"And we call ourselves a stupid name like 'The Outlaws'," Roy continued, in the same flat voice.

"Your face is stupid," Jason said. "And yes."

"And he whole reason we are having this conversation is because you _time_ _traveled?"_

Jason grinned. _"Yes!_ See, was that so hard?"

Roy stared at him for another moment, and Jason inwardly sighed in relief. He _knew_ there was a reason he'd partnered up with this guy. Sure, mini-Roy was a bit slow, and he made Jason want to hit something _really_ _badly_ , but, in the end, this was still Roy.

And then, with a blank expression, he turned around and walked away.

"Wha — hey!" Jason yelled. "Don't turn your back on me, you asshole!"

"You're obviously crazy," Roy said, without turning around. "I don't have time for this."

Don't have _time_ for this? Don't have time for _him_? As if Jason was just going to stand there, and let him leave. No, he'd had plenty of experience being the bane of the Bat Family's existence (something he was _immensely_ proud of), and now he was going to use it.

Because, of course, the one thing a vigilante didn't want was to have some crazed lunatic screaming their name for all to hear. And Jason could play the part of 'crazed lunatic' _really_ well.

_"ROY HARPER!"_

Roy turned around, his jaw clenching. "Would you _not?!"_

_"SORRY, CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE NOISE OF ME SCREAMING YOUR NAME, ROY —"_

"What do you _want?!"_

"…Well your phone would be a pretty great start." Jason then proceeded to give him his best shit-eating grin. Sure, his Roy was way more fun to be around, but this Roy was so easy to screw around with. It was almost like being with Replacement or Demon Brat.

Roy's eye twitched. "I don't have it with me."

Jason's eyebrows raised. "What really? You don't carry a phone with you? What kind of idiot _are_ you?"

"Do _you_ have a phone?!"

Jason snorted. "Are you kidding me? This outfit only has so much space, and I need all of it for my guns."

Roy stared at him for a moment. "…I'm leaving," he said at last, and started to turn around.

Pssh. Yeah right. Jason was honestly disappointed in Roy. He was going to have a _very_ long chat with his friend as soon as he got back.

But first…

_"ROY — "_

"Oh, _for_ _fucks_ _sake_ , _WHAT?!"_

"…Can I come back to your apartment?"

Roy's eye twitched. "I will shoot you."

"Not if I shoot you first," Jason said cheerily. And then, to show Roy that he wasn't kidding (because honestly, by this point he had enough experience to know how to shoot without causing any lasting damage), he opened his jacket, giving Roy full view of his weaponry. "What's faster, your arrows, or my guns?"

Roy's hand moved to his bow.

Jason bit back a sigh. Okay, so he wasn't _against_ violence and bloodshed (obviously), but he didn't want to drag this out unnecessarily. His own timeline, and his shitty apartment, were calling him.

"Okay, how about this," he said, and took a deep breath. Then: " _ROY_ _— "_

(Because there was no shame in using the same trick more than once, as long as it worked).

 _"Fine!"_ Roy snapped.

Jason smirked.

...

So in the end, Roy had led him back to his apartment. Sure, the entire journey had been filled with vicious glares, threatening words, and Jason was pretty sure he'd seen Roy reach for his bow more than once. In the end, there had been a surprising lack of injuries and violence.

"Who are you calling?" Roy asked, as Jason punched the familiar number into Roy's home phone.

"Batman, obviously," Jason replied. He briefly wondered if Roy knew who Bruce was at this point, and then realised that he honestly didn't care. Maybe he'd even spill the secret for the hell of it before he left.

Bruce picked up after the second ring. "Hello?"

"Hi Brucie," he said.

"Who is this?"

"Forgot about me already? But _Brucie_ , we had such a fun night." And then, before Bruce could hang up — "Okay, no jokes, I'm pregnant, and it's your baby."

Roy gaped at him.

"Okay, don't hang up, I'm serious this time — I'm the Joker. Okay, _kidding_ , this time I'm serious — I'm your kid from the future."

"Jesus Christ…" Roy said, staring at Jason like he thought he was insane.

Which, to be honest, he pretty much was, but Jason had two responses to that: 1. he was awesome anyway, and 2. it was all Bruce's fault.

Bruce muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, _"another_ _one?",_ but before Jason could ponder that, he spoke again.

"What's your name?"

"What?" Dammit _that_ was the response he got, after all his efforts? "Uh, Jason?"

Jason heard Bruce talking to someone else, and strained to hear what was being said. A moment later, Bruce was back on the line.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"…At Roy Harper's place…? But seriously, aren't you going to call me a liar, or say I'm insane, or act like a constipated dick the way you usually do…?"

He heard someone talking in the background — Alfred, he was pretty sure, from the sound of the voice — and then heard Bruce say, "apparently there's another one."

Then, to Jason: "Wait there." He then hung up.

Bastard.

"Fuck," Jason grumbled, setting the phone down. "They got to him first!"

Because Jason wasn't an idiot, and Bruce's easy acceptance of the situation, coupled with his conversation with Alfred, probably meant he'd already met at least some of his so-called family.

Jason just hoped Bruce didn't know about Damian yet, because he _really_ wanted to drop the "you-had-a-kid-with-Talia" bombshell _._ The aftermath of _that_ would be amazing.

"The old man told me to stay here," he said, ignoring Roy's protests. "Got anything to drink? Preferably something alcoholic?"

Because Jason didn't think he'd be getting back to his timeline anytime soon, and mini-Roy seriously needed to loosen up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand I know what you guys are thinking: WTF? She actually updated?
> 
> Yup. Finally. I sincerely apologise for how LONG it took me to get this up, but I had serious writers block, and had no idea how to finish this chapter. I want to thank everyone who commented, despite the long wait, because pretty much every time my inspiration for this would fizzle out, I'd read a new comment from you guys, and remember that there were actually people out there who were waiting to read more of this. And I know I HATE it when my favourite fics stop being updated, so…anyway. Enough of my rambling. Here is the new chapter, FINALLY, and I really hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Hopefully the next update won't take this long (and I have my uni holidays coming up soon, so hopefully that'll give me plenty of time to work on not just this, but my other fics too), and once again, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, and to comment! I appreciate it so much!


	7. Chapter Seven

"Maybe I should try and convince him that I'm the love child of him and Catwoman…"

Roy remained silent, sitting hunched over on his sofa, his gaze boring into the wall. Jason bit back a sigh; the Roy of this time period was obviously still a boring little shit, and clearly not worthy of being his friend…but Jason was nothing if not loyal, and Roy was a pretty decent best friend and team mate in the future, so he'd put up with mini-Roy's crap for now.

"This is the moment you say  _"do it"_ in a really eager and excited voice."

Roy didn't so much as glance at him. "I'm not talking to you."

Jason smirked. "Ha, jokes on you. You just did."

Roy groaned and rubbed his forehead. Jason's smirk widened — at this rate, he wouldn't be able to ignore him for much longer. Plus, this Roy's skills of dealing with Jason weren't as strong as future-Roy's, and that meant that mini-Roy would be  _way_ easier to break.

God, he just loved being himself sometimes.

"Oh, come on Roy! We're going to be best friends in the future!  _And_ teammates! So you better get used to it now."

Roy shrugged. "Or I could just change the future."

That stubborn little shit.

"Nah," Jason said, slouching back into the couch, "that stuff's pre-determined. You can't fuck with destiny."

"Are you  _actually_ trying to convince me that you're my destiny?" Roy sounded more than a little incredulous.

Jason grimaced. "Fuck no, that sounds like something out of a cheesy romcom." If he was ever going to star in a movie, he'd probably go for some kickass action flick. Or a documentary on how useless the Batfamily really were. He'd take either. "Nah, think of it as more of a horror movie — I'm going to haunt you for all eternity. Hell, I even came back from the grave to do it."

Roy blinked. "What does that mean?"

"What it sounds like — let me tell you, clawing your way out of your own grave is  _not_ fun."

Roy snorted. "Right."

Jason's eyes narrowed slightly. Seriously, mini-Roy could stop being such a sceptical little shit all the time. He didn't believe him about the time travel, he didn't believe him about coming back from the dead — what was  _wrong_ with this kid?

"Yeah Roy, it sucks. It hurts like hell, it's hard to breath, you swallow enough dirt to want to throw up every time you see it, and dirt gets under your fingernails. The only silver lining is that those nails aren't going to last too long with all that scratching and clawing." Jason grimaced. "Still hurts like hell though."

Roy stared. Well, more like gaped, and that was a very unattractive look on him. "You…actually want me to believe that you came back from the dead?"

"Yes. What, is that not a thing in your time?" Jason cocked his head, considering the time period he was currently in. "Huh, it really isn't…"

Weird, considering how many people had actually popped back up after being buried six feet under (or come back after being presumed dead… _Bruce,_ the old attention seeker).

Roy continued to stare at him for a moment, and Jason bit back a sigh. Yeah, this was getting annoying. Maybe the silence should have been welcome, what with him having to deal with his obnoxiously loud and mind-numbingly awful family all night long, but Roy was just making this awkward.

"You know I could just give you directions if you want," Roy said at last. "I'm sure Gotham isn't…too far from here."

Jason shook his head. Sure, Roy was making this awkward as hell, but he was obviously suffering more than Jason was, and  _that_ was the important thing. "Nah, I think I'll stick around. Nice place you got here."

Roy scowled. "If I kick you out, what'll happen?"

Jason considered this. "Hmm…under the small chance that you actually do…I'm going to start screaming your name again." Wait, that wouldn't work. Dammit. "Actually, I'll just scream  _ARSENAL!_ Or whatever else your weird superhero name is right now. And then I'll point at your house."

Jason smirked. Hell yeah, he was awesome at this. He supposed there were perks of hating your family as much as he did — it meant he was  _great_ at coming up with torture methods.

"What the fuck was future-me thinking," Roy murmured, staring at Jason with a mix of disbelief and wonder.

Then there was a flash of green, and Jason was gone.

Roy stared, and wondered what the hell had just happened.

 …

 Moments before Tim and Cass had showed up, the rest of the family had still been trying to process the current situation.

Damian was scowling, Dick was rambling, Bruce was avoiding everyone's eyes, and Alfred seemed oddly calm.

(So all in all, Dick supposed that it wasn't  _that_ different from how it usually was).

Dick turned to Alfred. "You know, I would've thought you'd have more questions."

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "I think you've revealed quite enough, Master Dick."

"You've probably damaged the timeline, Grayson," Damian added, a scowl still etched across his face. Dick wouldn't have taken him seriously either way, because an angry Damian was still an adorable Damian (plus, Damian was angry most of the time — although Dick was definitely working on that, and making progress if he did say so himself), but the combination of Damian and a  _Nightwing onesie_ was almost too cute for him to deal with.

Bruce's eyes moved towards the child, and then quickly flittered away. Obviously he didn't think the same way.

"I'm sure it's fine."

"If I'm not born, I'll blame you," Damian muttered.

Dick snorted. "I'm pretty sure you've already been born."

Bruce froze.  _"What?!"_

"Grayson!"

Dick shrugged, his expression somewhat sheepish as he took in Bruce's expression of alarm, and Damian's fury. "Well, he  _is_ ten. What did you expect."

Bruce paled.

"It's not like it matters," Damian interjected, his words coming out rushed and stilted. He looked tense. Yeah, maybe keeping his mouth shut was a good idea. Sure, seeing Bruce all flustered was pretty fun, but Dick didn't want to upset Damian (plus, who knew what kind of damage this was doing to the timeline — although considering the fact that them being here at all was probably messing with it big time, maybe he hadn't made things that much worse. They'd just have to find a way to fix this before they went home).

"He can't do anything about it." Damian continued. "Now — how are we going to get home? I heard there's a risk of a thunder storm tonight, and you  _know_ how Titus gets — "

"We'll figure it out," Dick said, placing a comforting hand on his little brother's shoulder. "And Titus will be fine. Alfred will look after him if he does get scared."

Bruce frowned. "Titus?"

Dick waved a hand dismissively, remembering his decision to remain more tight-lipped.

"My dog," Damian said, and then turned to Dick. "Really Grayson — you told Father about his future son, but you're afraid of telling him about a  _dog?"_

Dick shrugged. It wasn't like he'd ever done this before, so forgive him for not knowing perfect time-travel etiquette.

"And where is Master Dick?" Alfred questioned. After a brief pause he elaborated, "The younger Master Dick."

"With the rest of his team," Bruce replied. "I thought it was for the best." He looked relieved at the distraction. "Dick can be pretty…enthusiastic."

Actually, younger-him had looked too traumatised to be enthusiastic, but Dick didn't think Alfred needed to know about that.

Damian snorted. "That's an understatement. Grayson is like a child on a perpetual sugar high, without any actual sugar."

Dick shook his head. "Nah, sugar is life." He glanced at Alfred. "Hey Alfie, got any cookies? I didn't get to have any the other day, before these guys finished them off."

Damian stiffened. "I did nothing of the sort! I was  _forced_ to eat those cookies against my will!"

"He loves them."

Alfred coughed. "Ah, so that was what Master Dick was talking about…"

 …

 When Cass and Tim arrived a while later, led into the room by Alfred (who looked far too calm considering the given situation…then again, he  _was_ Alfred), Bruce glanced up and frowned slightly.

"Who are they?"

"More visitors from the future," Alfred said, seeming completely unruffled by what he'd just said. For a moment Tim stared at him uncomprehendingly, until he noticed the two figures standing next to Bruce.

"Tim!" Dick greeted cheerily. Tim was too focused on Damian to take much notice. Of  _course_ the little brat just had to be here.

"Drake," Damian said, glaring. "As if this wasn't bad enough,  _you_ had to go and grace us with your unwanted presence — "

Tim rubbed his forehead. "Oh God, it's too late for this." Seriously,  _why_ did Damian have to be here? This whole situation was crazy enough; did they really have to go and add the little psychopath into the mix?

"It's daytime outside," Cass pointed out.

"You know what I mean." He spared another glance at Damian, who looked like he was preparing himself for a full blown argument, and then looked away. No way was he dealing with this now. He turned his attention to Bruce, who was watching them with an expression than was equal parts curious and wary. He didn't look too shocked by Alfred's announcement though, so Tim guessed he already knew about the time travel. "I guess Dick's given you the rundown?"

Well, at least it meant he didn't have to deal with Bruce's usual suspicion and paranoia. He didn't know what Dick and Damian had done to convince him, and right now, he didn't really care — he'd figure out the details later. Right now they just needed to map out a plan to get home.

"Yes," Bruce said. There was a brief pause. "I'm glad to see you're wearing clothes."

"Uh — what?"

Dick flushed and shook his head. "Just Bruce, kidding around as usual." Tim stared at him, because when the hell had that  _ever_ been normal behaviour for Bruce? "But anyway, we're all here, and now we can start figuring out how the hell we're going to get home."

"I'm a bit confused as to how you ended up here in the first place," Alfred said.

Tim opened his mouth to reply, but the shrill ring of the telephone interrupted whatever answer Tim had been about to give. Alfred made a move towards the phone, but Bruce shook his head.

"You stay," he said. "I'll go."

He turned to leave the room. Tim turned his attention back to Alfred.

"It was a sorceress…she used some sort of spell. We thought it'd be a one-time thing but obviously that didn't happen." He cocked his head to the side, considering the situation. "I assume it has something to do with proximity — Cass and I were together when we travelled, and Dick and Damian were probably close by too." They'd both been upstairs when they'd been sent here, hadn't they? He stiffened sightly as something horrifying occurred to him. "I guess that mean Jason's somewhere around here too."

Because they'd all been struck by the spell, hadn't they? And Tim didn't think he was nearly lucky enough for Jason to be left out of this mess.

Dick paled slightly. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Great." Damian crossed his arms in front of him, scowling. "Just what we need. More ingrates."

Dick frowned slightly at Damian, and Tim rolled his eyes.

"Apparently I have another son," Bruce said flatly, walking back into the room. "Someone named Jason?" The whole group stared at him, processing his words. Tim's heart sank. Yeah, he definitely wasn't that lucky.

"He was just on the phone," Bruce continued, as the rest of them stared at him, dumbfounded. "He's at Roy Harper's house right now."

"Uh…" Dick coughed. "You're, uh, taking this really well…"

Bruce shrugged slightly. "Anything is a possibility with time travel." His eyes flickered to Damian. "So? I guess it's true then? He's my son?"

 _"Adopted_ son," Damian said.

_'Oh god, here we go…'_

"Father, he is adopted like the rest of them." Damian gestured at the group.  _"I_ am your only true son."

Bruce stiffened. "What?" His head snapped towards them, his eyes flickering between Tim and Cass. He didn't seem nearly as unflappable now.  _"They're_ my children too?!"

Huh. They'd never really elaborated on who they were, had they?

"Adopted," Damian corrected.

Bruce stared. "What?"

"They are your  _adopted_ children. Not your blood children." He lifted his chin defiantly.

 _"Fine then —_ adopted children?!"

Cass nodded. "Yes."

Bruce paled and glanced away. Tim noticed that his hands were clenched at his sides. "Are there…anymore?" He sounded almost afraid of the answer.

Dick shook his head. "Nah, not yet." He paused. "Well…I guess there is Steph and Babs, but they're not technically your kids, so…"

"Oh dear," Alfred said.

It took Bruce a moment to recover. "Right then…" he said, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else than there. "I…told Jason I'd go pick him up. I think it's best if you all stay together."

Well he obviously wanted to get the hell out of here if he'd rather be spending time with  _Jason._

… 

Tim never really got around to learning just how bad things would get when Jason arrived (although he had a pretty good idea…things never ended well when the whole family got together).

About half an hour or so after Bruce had left, there was a familiar flash of green light, and both Damian and Dick disappeared. Before Tim and Cass could even process what had happened, there was another flash of green, and the next thing they knew, they were standing in Damian's room, in the exact spots they'd been in before being dumped in the future.

Damian — possibly the only kid who could manage to scowl like that and still look somewhat adorable (but still mostly terrifying) while petting a dog — stood in front of them, with an excited Titus wagging his tail beside him.

Tim stared. "…What just happened?"

(Dick, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as lucky. When the green light had faded, he'd found himself half submerged in an overflowing bathtub. His furious,  _"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!"_ was well warranted).

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay…so guess who's finally updated! Guys I am soooo sorry for the huge delay on this chapter. I just couldn't get it done no matter how hard I tried - I've literally had the plan for this all written up for ver a month now, and I just couldn't bring myself to write anything. But anyway, it's finally done, and I just hope the next few chapters will be easier to write.
> 
> Also, the Batfam are back in the present, but there's no way this story is even close to being over…and the insanity has only just begun. They'll be back in time again very, very soon xD (Also, I'll most likely have more of the YJ characters in the next chapter :D).
> 
> Once again, sorry for the long wait, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's not my favourite chapter in this fic, but I'm just glad to finally have it out, and now I can work on moving this story forward.


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